If you’ve been following along, you know I am giving Chase a little break while he is honeymooning. I wrote this while recovering from surgery and in the middle of a series on each division’s all-time team.

In case you’re not privy to the rules and regulations of the game, these are the stipulations Chase conceded to for my series:

1. I write everything before my painkiller prescription runs out,
2. I write it completely off the top of my head and don’t do any research,
3. I don’t have to proofread this when I finish it, and
4. Chase doesn’t edit my nonsense out of the article (because let’s keep it organic, man). ^[1]Roster construction is as follows: 1 QB, 2 RB, 3 WR, 2 TE, 2 T, 2 G, 1 C, 2 DE, 2 DT, 2 OLB, 2 MLB/ILB, 3 CB, 2 S, 1 K, 1 P, 1 HC
5. I maintain modern division designations. If a player played for the Seahawks when the team was in the AFC West, I am counting him in the NFC West. I have neither the time nor the inclination to make this 100% perfect.

These rules are to keep me from having to do much work and to increase the chances that I write something stupid, which amuses me. I can’t wait to look back on this series when I am more coherent and realize how supremely I have played myself.

Without further ado, here’s the NFC North.

Offense

Quarterback – Brett Favre

I have Tarkenton rated higher on my all-time list, but he spent too much time carrying the Giants in the middle of his career. Starr is perhaps the greatest playoff passer in history. Rodgers is the most visually impressive quarterback when he’s at the top of his game. I don’t care. I want the three-time MVP who made magic happen for two different NFC North teams.

Running Backs – Walter Payton and Barry Sanders

This is as obvious as it gets. Payton was a flawless player, able to win with speed, power, balance, and intelligence. Able to catch, throw, block, and even tackle if need be. Sanders is the most explosive runner in NFL history. Sure, he lost easy yards now and then, but he also did things literally no other back could do. Adrian Peterson and Gale Sayers are honorable mentions, but they weren’t particularly close.

Wide Receivers – Don Hutson, Randy Moss, Calvin Johnson

Hutson basically invented the position. As such, he put up insane numbers by virtue of the fact that he was basically playing a different sport than his competitors. He also had his best seasons when many players were in Europe fighting Nazis, and he never lined up against a black cornerback, and that has to count for something. Moss is known for his speed and leaping ability, but he also had underrated hand strength and the ability to track the ball like a centerfielder. Johnson is the closest physical comp to Moss I have seen, but where he matched his elder’s athleticism, he lacked some of the finer points of the position.

Tight Ends – Mike Ditka and Charlie Sanders

Unless you want to argue that because all ends used to line up close to the tackles, Guy Chamberlain was actually a tight end, Ditka can safely be called the first great practitioner of the position as generally defined. His rookie season may be the very best TE season ever, and he only got better from there (even if the stats regressed). Sanders was basically Diet Mackey. Take everything John Mackey did and multiply it by 85%, and you have Sanders.

Tackles – Forrest Gregg and Ron Yary

Lombardi, who presided over a team full of legends, called Gregg the finest player he ever coached. He could keep Bart Starr clean and open big holes for his Hall of Fame backs. He really had no flaws in his game. Yary was a massive figure with the power to match. He could get a little sloppy in pass pro, but he’s among the most dominant run blockers I’ve ever seen. Cal Hubbard was a dominant force on offense and defense, but it’s too hard to separate performance from apotheosis, so he misses the cut.

Guards – Randall McDaniel and Jerry Kramer

When McDaniel pulled, running backs had a privilege they rarely experienced: the ability to run full speed because their guard was just as fast as they were. Kramer played a vital role in the most influential rushing play of all time, and he also made arguably the most famous block in history. He was good on other plays too, of course.

Center – Jim Ringo

Bulldog Turner is one of the best centers and linebackers in division history, but he wasn’t quite great enough at either to merit more than an honorable mention. Lombardi protégé Ringo gets the nod here.

Defense

Defensive End – Willie Davis and Carl Eller

Davis was a cornerstone of Lombardi’s defensive dynasty, an elite pass rusher who seemed to find another gear in the postseason. Eller held his own against the run in an era when that actually mattered, and he was also adept at taking out quarterbacks. Doug Atkins was a behemoth who manhandled opposing linemen. Chris Doleman is one of the finest defensive ends in history but is light on postseason honors because he had the misfortune of having his career overlap the careers of both Reggie White and Bruce Smith. They both deserve honorable mention.

Defensive Tackle – Alan Page and John Randle

Page and Randle rank first and second in career sacks among all defensive tackles in history. Yes, they have been accused of not focusing enough on the run, but passing is so much more important that I can forgive them for trying to bring down the golden boys. Randle is the official sack leader among DTs with 135.5, while Page is the unofficial king with an outlandish 148.5.

Outside Linebacker – Dave Robinson and George Connor

Robinson was decent in coverage and excellent at setting the edge against the run. Connor didn’t play very long, but he packed a lot of great play into a short career, splitting excellent seasons across multiple positions. Wink and a nod to Lance Briggs, who was a fantastic off ball linebacker but didn’t get as much recognition as he deserved while competing for postseason honors with guys who sacked the quarterback.

Middle/Inside Linebacker – Dick Butkus and Joe Schmidt

Just like I go back and forth between naming Butkus or Ray Lewis the top MLB of all time, I go back and forth between naming Schmidt and Jack Lambert number three. So, at the very worst, you’re looking at two of the top four MLB’s in history. Butkus approached every play like a knife fight, and his prowess against the run has led to an incorrect myth that he struggled in coverage. This is not so. Butkus was very good in coverage. Schmidt, for his part, was more than very good. He is among the all-time great cover backers and was a sure tackler and consistent playmaker. Bill George and Mike Singletary could have made the teams in almost any other division, and Brian Urlacher was pretty good too.

Cornerback – Herb Adderley, Lem Barney, and Dick LeBeau

Adderley was a consummate playmaker who picked off a lot of passes and instantly turned into a threat to score. Think a 1960s version of Ed Reed with the ball in his hands. He had a deep enough understanding of offenses to take calculated risks that weren’t really all that risky when he did it. The first time Barney was targeted in a game, he picked off Bart Starr and returned it for a score. Throughout his career, he possessed rare ball skills and exemplified the notion that the defender has just as much right to the ball as the receiver. LeBeau is better known to modern fans as the cunning architect of several successful Pittsburgh defenses, but as a player he was intelligent, opportunistic, and operated well in space (no mean feat for a cover man). Honorable mention to Charles Tillman who excelled at forcing fumbles and was a much better man defender than people assumed due to his role in Lovie Smith’s defenses.

Safety – Jack Christiansen and Willie Wood

Christiansen is one of the greatest range safeties in history, ^[2]He’d be on my Range Rushmore with Ed Reed, Nolan Cromwell, and Earl Thomas. and his skill as a punt returned literally forced teams to completely overhaul their approach to special teams. Wood was a solid returner in his own right, but he makes this team for his ferocious hitting, hyperactive style, and rare instincts that allowed him to be in places his merely average speed shouldn’t have allowed him to be.

Special Teams and Head Coach

Kicker – Jason Hanson

I’ve often described Hanson as Adam Vinatieri on a bad team. What I mean is that he has been basically the same kicker as the future Hall of Famer, but he hasn’t been on teams that have provided him opportunities to even attempt legacy-defining kicks. ^[3]In Vinatieri’s defense, kicking in New England in the winter is much different from kicking in a dome.

Punter – Bobby Joe Green

Green had a booming leg and did a great job giving opponents few opportunities to return his punts. Dr. Z used to laud Tommy Davis for taming the wild winds of Kezar Stadium. The same can be said of Green booting balls in the gelid NFC North.

Head Coach – Vince Lombardi

Even among a host of early legends, George Halas is a giant among the rest. He coached forever and has his fingerprints all over the game as we know if. However, Lombardi is my man. Some coaches are good with Xs and Os. Others excel as motivators. Still others develop and build teams from the ground up. Lombardi was a master in all three areas. He had no weaknesses as a coach, and stories of his personal life paint a picture of good man who cared for those he coached not just as players, but as men.

Parting Shot

That’s part five in the books. Next up is the NFC East, which shouldn’t be controversial on account of their legendarily dispassionate fans.